I wasn't born a Christian. I chose to follow Christ in the summer of 1988, when I was 23 years old.
I wrote my story down about 25 years ago, how I came to believe that Jesus loved me and why I decided to follow Him. one of these days I'll update this story, but I feel it's important to share this now.
Here it is:
I've been a born-again Christian since 1988. Before that, I grew up in a home where God and church weren't normal things in our lives. We went to church once in awhile, but for all intents and purposes, our family wasn't Christian. I didn't have a lot of knowledge of God except for the one summer in the mid-70s when we lived on Travis AFB and on Sundays a little green bus from a Baptist church in a nearby town would come to the base to pick kids up and take them to Sunday School. But for the most part, I saw God as someone distant and disapproving of me. I did believe He was real, but I didn't think He cared about me or wanted me.
Early in 1988, my sister moved to Southern California, and got saved (accepted Christ as her savior) while she was down there. She constantly called me and mailed me stuff, trying to tell me about Jesus, and how I needed to accept Him as my Savior, and I didn't want to hear it. I'd find great excuses to get off the phone quickly when she called. I'd toss her mail into a drawer and ignore it.
Then, she asked me to come visit her, my mom and stepdad, and family for a vacation that summer. I told her I didn't have my vacation approved at work, even though I did. But, after thinking long and hard, I said I'd come visit, but I didn't want to hear a thing about Jesus or religion, or I'd be out the door faster than you could say boo. After all, I was planning to drive my car down there - I wouldn't need to depend on her for transportation.
I'd had some bad experiences a few years before that with a church group I later learned was extremely legalistic, and bordered on being a cult. It was a very controlling organization, down to the point of deciding who you married. So, naturally, I was very leery of 'religion', and thankfully, God was watching out for me and kept me out of that church.
But I was still convinced she'd gone off the deep end, especially since she threw away her collection of 80s music - ALL OF IT!!!!! Oh, how awful that was to hear - it was a collection to die for!! I wanted it so badly, but it was gone.
I planned to visit for a week, and decided to drive down to San Bernardino, leaving on a Friday morning, but I had a bright idea. Little did I know it was from God. I decided to leave Sacramento on Thursday night, and surprise my family by ringing their doorbell at 7am on Friday morning, instead of calling them to let them know I was leaving. So, I went to a grocery store, bought some food for the drive, and left in my trusty little 76 Chevy Vega station wagon, travelling down 99, blasting the radio, never knowing that I was really on my way to meet Jesus.
Early in the morning, I got to Bakersfield and headed east onto Highway 58 towards Barstow. My usual method of travelling on long drives is to stop at almost every rest stop and take a short walk. I stopped at the last rest stop on 58 before getting onto 395, and that's where the story gets really interesting.
I relaxed, walked around a bit, got back into my car, and it wouldn't start. A man tried to help me jump start the car, and nothing happened - it just wouldn't start. So, I used my calling card, and called my sister from the pay phone at the rest stop, but they didn't have a car available - my mom and stepdad had gone to work, my stepbrother's car was broken down, so he borrowed my sister's car to go to summer school, and my other stepbrother and stepsister were gone for the weekend. I had to wait.
When my stepbrother got home at 11am, he and my sister were going to go to work and pick up their paychecks, then stop at an autoparts store and buy a starter. My stepbrother Mike would then drive out to the rest stop where I was and put it in my car. The rest stop was a little over an hour northeast of San Bernardino.
So, here I was at a rest stop, at 8am in the morning, having been awake for over 24 hours, and it was starting to get hot. My car was dead, and I only had ONE book to read 'The Search for the Northwest Passage'. Not the most entertaining book I've ever read!! LOL I rolled my car under some trees so I'd have some shade, but it was too hot to nap.
I passed the time by calling my sister every so often. She had given me her work number. At about 1pm or so, I called her at work to see how things were going. Their paychecks were late. They had never been late before. Oh, I was soooo tired and hot, and getting cranky!!! It was just awful! I called a half hour later, and they'd finally received their paychecks and were leaving to go to the auto parts store and buy the starter.
At around 3pm, I called my sister at home and she told me that my stepbrother had just left the house. This meant that I only had one hour to wait, or so I thought.
After about an hour and 45 minutes, I called my sister again to see what was going on, using the calling card I'd been using all day. I started dialing the access number for my calling card, and the phone went right back to the dial tone. Every single time I dialed the access number, or any number, the phone went back to the dial tone. I was hot, sweaty, tired, cranky, frustrated, and losing it.
I went back to my car, in tears, and just sat there crying.
Everything my sister told me has been on the back of my mind for weeks - everything I ever learned at occasional Sunday school classes and all the stories and movies I'd ever seen or heard about the endtimes had been going through my mind, even though I tried to ignore it. I was so afraid! And lost....
As I was sitting in my car crying, and wondering why all this was happening to me, and feeling like everything was hopeless, something suddenly occurred to me. My stepbrother was not going to abandon me at that reststop. He loved me, and would be there for me without a doubt. How was God any different? He loved me, and would be there for me without a doubt. That was the moment I believed - I always knew I was a sinner, but I had never believed that God would accept me if I went to Him.
One of my biggest struggles in accepting Christ was believing that He would really want me. I come from a divorced family, and had been sent back and forth from parent to parent because of family problems. If my mom and dad thought I was too much of a hassle, what could God think of me? And why would He want me? My family didn't seem to. I fell far short of their expectations every day - there was no way I could ever be good enough for God...
Once I realized that God loved me - ME!!! - even though I was far from perfect, I was amazed. I was also excited by the fact that I finally understood. That was the moment I accepted Christ as my savior. I prayed, confessed that I was a sinner in need of His mercy and grace, and my new life began.
I went to the phone again, and tried to call my sister one more time - I had to tell someone what had happened!
This time, the phone worked. It hadn't worked 10 minutes ago - definitely God!! My sister answered the phone, and she was thrilled to say the least! I also found out my stepbrother had driven past the rest stop by about 60 miles, and was on his way back.
The next Sunday, at my sister's church, I publicly accepted Christ as my savior. One of her friends recommended a church in Sacramento to me. I remembered driving by that church years ago on Sunday, and looking at all those people leaving the service, saying, "Can you believe all those people who go to church???" Now I'm one of those people!!
The years since have been wonderful...hard at times, but God has used those hard times to teach me to trust Him and He has continued His work of molding me into the image of His Son, Jesus 🙂 I've grown and learned so much about God, life and people. God has been good, and He is faithful to complete the work He began in me 🙂
It's been almost 20 years since I wrote the above, and it's still true. Choosing to follow Christ is the best decision I ever made. It hasn't always made my life easier, but He's given me strength and I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that He loves me and that I will be spending eternity with Him in the new heaven and earth.
If you'd like to know more, please feel free to message me. I keep all of you in prayer, and you matter to me so much!
I hope you know I will never be judgmental (at least not on purpose), I will not ridicule or mock you, and I will treat your questions seriously. Also, it's not my job to change you, and I won't try to do that. I love you, Jesus loves you, and He's waiting for you to turn to Him. It won't make your life perfect, but it will give you a future and a hope, and He will be your sustaining companion through the hard times.
